Ugly Grandma Geek
Many of my English readers have heard me bang on for sometime now about my gripes with the state of fashion in Melbourne. It seems ‘vintage’ has now been cool for about 3 years… hmmm isn’t fashion meant to evolve as seasons pass? I know what’s in vogue goes through cycles- but surely 3 years is a bit much right? There has been one recent trend to emerge though… a style and look that actually pains me to even observe. I call it the ‘Ugly Grandma Geek’. Allow me to walk you through it…
Step 1- Ugly yourself up. Hair is not to be brushed (or washed) – and instead tied up in some ridiculous bun on top of your head. If you can messily angle the bun to one side- extra style points. Refrain from using any cosmetics- though bright red lipstick is permitted when smeared messily around your pale too-hip-for-fudging-school face.
Step 2- Dress like you’re 76 years old. Wool cardigans, over sized floral dresses, unmatched colours and cheap crap jewellery you either picked up from Savers or your dead Nan’s trinket box.
Step 3- The most IMPORTANT part to pulling this look off is having the glasses. You know the ones. Big black-rimmed hunks of ugly perched on pretty girl’s noses. I think what bothers me most about them- is in most cases the lenses are actually glass…or plastic. The Nana Mouskouri look never was- and never will be hot in my books.
So there you have it- ‘Ugly Grandma Geek’. This morning on the tram I had to sit opposite one and to make matters worse she was knitting! I don’t have a problem with knitting (Hi Sue!)- But it was just a bit much on public transport at 8:35am. Maybe it’s the Ugly Grandma Geeks way to accessorize? All I know… is that the girl was about 23 years old and looked like a complete knob-head.
Rant. Over.
LOL You should knit. It’s a great way to calm and focus your mind. And the added bonus is the loving knitted product at the end of it. The train at peak hour is a bit crowded for knitting, but I can see how it might be a good way to pass your travel time.
I was dismayed to read that craft is fashionable again. I thought I was being suitably daggy for an old married woman and here I find myself at the height of post-GFC cocooning fashion!
June 9, 2010 at 4:59 am
Sue- I’m sure one day I’ll give knitting or cross-stitch a whirl. The reason I can’t right now is I need to protect my hands from any sort of labour that might produce rough hard calluses. Afterall hand-modelling is my back-up career plan should the writing/film career not take off.
And indeed- it would seem you’re in vogue with your leisure activities. Just don’t get a pair of those glasses… please… X
June 9, 2010 at 5:14 am
OHhh i saw one of these nana girls on the train the other day and I thought of this post. Ironically it probably made me more annoyed at the girl because before I never had thought of it before. but yes. tossers
July 12, 2010 at 2:05 am