Spare Change

Tonight whilst on my way home from the gym, I was approached by a homeless man on the tube. He didn’t speak directly to me- it was more a general speech in the direction of us commuters. He asked if anyone could spare some change, that it was a cold and wet night- and he wanted shelter and food.

2 months ago I would have given him the same response a majority of commuters did. This ‘response’ is in actual fact no response at all. It involves simply and rudely ignoring his polite attempt at collecting a few stray pennies. It involves judgement- that you’re a better person than him… That he is a drug-addicted-good-for-nothing-loser, and that you are above even acknowledging his presence. I could practically see the cogs of condemnation ticking over in all their minds…”He’ll just buy smack, or booze” they justified their behaviours with. You often hear people say “If I had a sandwich- I’d give him that instead…at least then I’d know I was REALLY helping him”. The funny thing is that nobody every really has a sandwich…and you know what? Even if they did I doubt very much anyone would give even half of it up. This brings me to the conclusion that people are selfish. This is a selfish city, in a selfish world. Nobody wants to admit it- ‘judgment’ is far easier.

What is 1 pound to a person? 1 pound is the money you loose at the bottom of your bag after a night out. It’s the unnecessary feeding of a poker machine. It’s the 1/8^th of a pint you DON’T need to finish on a Saturday evening. It’s that afternoon chocolate bar you don’t need or even particularly want. If we’re to be honest- 1 pound is nothing to most of us. For someone desperate enough to ride a subway accosting strangers- 1 pound is everything. I don’t fucking care what this person spends that pound on. They might buy drugs, they might buy alcohol, who knows? All I know is that for a person to live their life in such squalor and desperation- is truly devastating sadness. Probably the saddest kind of sadness anyone will ever know. A sadness most of us will NEVER know. So who are we to judge?

I gave the guy a pound, and wished him a good night. He thanked me and gave the warmest smile I’ve genuinely seen on a person’s face in a very long time. It was appreciation- pure and simple. Whether he finds a safe bed somewhere for the evening, or ends up on cloud 9 in an alleyway- I helped make his night. That small smile of gratitude made mine.