If life was perfect…

If life was perfect you’d go out for mojitos every Monday night after work.

If life was perfect you’d have someone to cook you breakfast on a Tuesday morning, and someone to cook dinner for on a Tuesday night.

If life was perfect you’d catch a spot of theatre on Wednesdays, a dirty rock band on Thursdays, and a bit of disco biscuit stomping fun on Fridays.

You’d always have time for friends and family. In fact family would be friends- and friends dear like family.

You wouldn’t feel fat or insecure and you’d never have bad hair days. Your clothes would look good and feel fabulous, and you’d always have that healthy post-sex glow.

If life was perfect you’d be able to snap biscuits in half so the calories would fall out and you’d avoid the ‘biscuit guilt’.

If life was perfect you wouldn’t have to watch the clock in order to get your last half-price happy hour cocktail in. Every hour would be happy-hour. Every evening would be Friday and every day would be a weekend.

You wouldn’t suffer email panic, public transport stress, or mobile phone seperation anxiety. You’d be chilled out. You wouldn’t need to drink just to realx.

If life was perfect you wouldn’t suffer the fear of hereditary IBS, nor would you ever humiliate yourself by weeing in front of a crowd.

People wouldn’t notice your 10 month long eye twitch as anything unusual…they would merely recognize it as a cute ‘wink’ to that select special few.

People would know and understand the eclective assortment of complexities that contribute to your character. They would appreciate.

If life was perfect ‘popping home’ wouldn’t involve a £1400/30-hour-round trip. Ideally…there would be some quick vortex type hole one could simply jump into.

Life isn’t perfect. Life is never perfect. But all these things do or have co-existed at some point throughout life. It would be greedy to want them all at once. xxxxxx